she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
