he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
