If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
