Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
