And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
