Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
