Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
