even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
