If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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