Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
