I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
