Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
