After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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