he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
