ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
