The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
