In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
