do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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