I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
