So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
