what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Bring me that man meat
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize