How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
the liver wants what the liver wants
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
