True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
