I wish I could punch you in the face.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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