He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
