Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
