ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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