Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
