kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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