She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
You left your phone here
Wait...
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