She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
