i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Boobs speak an international language.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
