I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize