I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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