somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
