Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
