I never want to see another naked old woman again.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
