YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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