rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
