onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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