lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
