if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
