I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
