So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
