where am i from again
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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