You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
