apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize