so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
