My friends, they love my intelligence
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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