Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
