No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
