I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
