i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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