i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
