My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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