The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
