Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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