Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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