Please, let me fuck your mom
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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