Buhtt sex?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
we should paint friendship bongs
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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