yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
